Today you turn thirty and I just want to say not all is lost. While you are getting better with age and I disintegrate into a old grey haired shrew, there are a couple of things I want to say. First if you ever leave me, well you will regret it. Okay, that’s not how I wanted this heartfelt letter to start out, but it needed to be known. Secondly I want to say that you have made me so happy. You have been supportive in all my endeavors and ordeals. You’ve stuck around despite the craziness that seems to come with being with me. You have put up with my need to constantly have animals around, that I need to be around people. You understand about my depression and my need to sometimes just be alone in a dark room.
I can only hope to have provided you with the happiness and love that you deserve. We’ve been together fourteen years, and never once have you even turned to look at another women, while I’ve witnessed friends and even family struggle with finding a decent man, I’ve been holding on to the shining star that is you.
I can honestly say that I am lucky to have you. While there are things that drive each other crazy, none of it compares to how good it feels to be around each other. I appreciate the random texts just telling me that you miss me, the small things like making sure I eat, caring about Mordechai and Tesla as much as I do, repeating things multiple times when talking to me when I’m reading, even just asking me if I am feeling well.
While I can go on and on about how much you mean to me, the main purpose of this letter is just to tell you Happy Birthday and thank you. I love you and I am so happy to have found such a wondering, loving and caring husband that I can be proud of.
In my (almost) 30 years of my life I have not missed a single Christmas with my family. Since I’ve started dating my husband we didn’t miss a Christmas with his family. This year we will not see a single family person. Maybe through video calls or skype but I won’t be able to hug anyone at midnight and wish anyone a Merry Christmas or Feliz Navidad.
Honestly right now typing this I don’t know how to feel. On one hand there’s probably millions of people who are going through this or who don’t have any family. On the other hand being in a new state with new people surrounding me is weird and I miss the comfort of home (and Heat. It’s so damn cold!)
Plus I am a grown ass women, I should be able to get through one freaking Christmas without turning into a child longing for her mother’s skirts. The problem is that this probably won’t be the last time this would happen. It’s something I thought about before the move, yet actually experiencing it is completely different.
I’ve never been one to feel homesick. Even when I moved out of my home with my parents at 18, my mother had a harder time than I did. Now though I realized I was kinda spoiled with it all. I had my family at my fingertips but I never took advantage of that.
I won’t cry because that’s just not something I do, but as I binge watch Christmas movies on my most hated holiday sipping apple cider, I’ll be wondering what my family is doing and if they miss me as much as I miss them.
So Today is the day. I will be driving 13 hours from California to Idaho. We’ve said goodbyes to family and friends. Even though I know I will see them again as we will return and visit I keep thinking ‘I should have done more with you’. There’s always the ‘oh I will totally visit you’ or the ‘Just let me know your in town I will make time’ but are these just things that get said, will it actually happen?
I really hope so.
Saying goodbye is bitter sweet, you don’t know what the future will bring or what will happen. I guess this is when I find out who is truly my friend and who actually cares about me.
I know I am extremely late with this post but honestly I have been so busy. My house is in a complete mess since I am in the middle of packing things and this whole timeline thing is stressful. We have a month left before we will be in California and it’s nerve racking.
I can say that I will try to post, I actually have some free time to sit and write blog posts but it would be everyday but at least twice or Thrice a week.
Things last month:
My Nephews 5th Birthday
My Nephew Harvest Festival at his school
Being Addicted to Pumpkin Spice Everything
Loving on some Cold Brew coffee from Secret Squirrel