Not Making it Home for Christmas

In my (almost) 30 years of my life I have not missed a single Christmas with my family. Since I’ve started dating my husband we didn’t miss a Christmas with his family. This year we will not see a single family person. Maybe through video calls or skype but I won’t be able to hug anyone at midnight and wish anyone a Merry Christmas or Feliz Navidad.

Honestly right now typing this I don’t know how to feel. On one hand there’s probably millions of people who are going through this or who don’t have any family. On the other hand being in a new state with new people surrounding me is weird and I miss the comfort of home (and Heat. It’s so damn cold!)

Plus I am a grown ass women, I should be able to get through one freaking Christmas without turning into a child longing for her mother’s skirts. The problem is that this probably won’t be the last time this would happen. It’s something I thought about before the move, yet actually experiencing it is completely different.

I’ve never been one to feel homesick. Even when I moved out of my home with my parents at 18, my mother had a harder time than I did. Now though I realized I was kinda spoiled with it all. I had my family at my fingertips but I never took advantage of that.

I won’t cry because that’s just not something I do, but as I binge watch Christmas movies on my most hated holiday sipping apple cider, I’ll be wondering what my family is doing and if they miss me as much as I miss them.

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